I have begun to realize that I have some residual bitterness towards the Church. I was sexually abused in an evangelical church, I have been told I am demon possessed by evangelical Christians. I often feel aloof and unable to relate to most sermon's I hear and I often I see worship time as more of a contemporary Christian rock show than a worship service.
I have become a Christian Cynic and while have every right to be one, it doesn't stop my cynicism from being wrong. Because to a Christian Cynic Churches can't do anything right. I can point out the mistakes, the pitfalls, the pride, all the while ignore my own selfish pride. I make myself out to be the Christian realist, the one who knows what suffering is and my wisdom should be sought after. Yet sometimes being a Christian realist is just a code word for being calloused and unable to feel anymore.
So I ask forgiveness for myself, and ask for prayer that I would be able to see the Church as Christ sees it. A beautiful group of people who are doing their utmost to follow his example. And while I am a contrarion punk and will likely never see eye to eye with any one I will ever meet I can still remember that the Church is Christ's bride and she is beautiful.